The Landing

As the tonsilscape came into clearer view, Agent B saw they were approaching a pocket comparatively as large as a football field.  Agent B took over manual control and steered toward a less formaidable tonsilar site.  At Mission Control monitors noted his heart beat had increased from a normal 100 to 220.  While Agent B manipulated the control, Agent C called out altitude reading: 750 parsecs, coming down at 23 degrees…700 parsecs, 21 down…400 parsecs, down at nine…Got the shadow out there…75 parsecs, things looking good…lights on…picking up some mucous…30 parsecs, 2 1/2 down…faint shadow…four forward…drifting to the right a little…contact light…O.K.  Engine stop.  As the probes beneath three of the four footpads touched the tonsilar surface, a light flashed on the instrument pane.  The no one heard Agent B’s quiet message, but would soon know his presence: “Mission Control.  Disruptive Base here.  Crud has landed.”

With apologies to Armstrong.  I am on four meds right now and doing my best to not talk.

 

Hemochromotosis

I worked in the VA in my earlier nursing days.  They were known for momentary lapses of advanced experimental medicine mixed with third world missionary adapting style techniques.  (One nice thing about working there was that everything was considered hazardous when placed in the linen bags, so certain cleanups were made much easier.)  There is a condition called hemochromotosis where the body has an overproduction of heme or red blood cells which causes many problems including liver destruction – eventually.  Well, the treatment for excess red blood cells is simple – remove them.  This was done by inserting a catheter and draining the blood.  In some cases, this blood can be used for donation, so there is a possibility of usefulness to the loss.  I passed by a new doc doing the blood removal with a catheter inserted in the arm, and holding a beaker underneath it to catch the blood.  That was the image I remembered when noting this:

 

Medicine applied

As we practitioners of medicine at various levels all learn aspects of body mechanics with the understanding that an arm of one individual is roughly equivalent to an arm of another. Everybody has four chambers to their heart and any deviation from the same causes problems with the survivability of the individual.
Medicines are studied with the understanding that if it inhibits bacteria A at the point of ribosome activity in the lab, it has the potential to do the same in an individual. This set up is the basis for testing medications first in the lab, second on animal cells, third in volunteers, fourth in the population, then approval.
Personal differences on enzyme activity and genetics produce varying outcomes and provide the list of side effects that accompany all medication literature and provide the most interesting commercials to promote a new drug to the public.
“Urology First will increase the urine flow providing many uninterrupted moments with your loved one. Don’t take if you have nightmares, wish you were eight feet tall, or were born third in line. This med may cause rash, hiccups, bald spots in the center of your back, make you attractive to many dogs of the opposite sex, make you want to run in place every day at noon. Don’t take if you have been to the bathroom in a third world country in the last four years. For any further questions, call your doctor.”
These are all predicated on the tendency of everyone’s body to operate in roughly the same fashion with individual differences to provide interesting commercial material.
Doctors have to sift through the information presented, look at the history of the individual and decide to take a chance on Urology First for a patient. This is done with the understanding that there may be problems, and also the potential of benefit. The patient then takes the drug and then reports to the doctor the results allowing the doctor to learn what the results are in the patient at hand which is then translated to patients in the future.
In other words, your treatment may not help you now. You may simply be a model for patients in the future.
That is medicine applied.

 

Things I didn’t deal with in the hospital

Being a home health nurse is very different from hospital work. Diagnoses transmit between the geographic regions, but the work environment doesn’t.
One part of the standard exam involves me using a flashlight to see between the toes to ensure all is well in the webbing. As I start this procedure, my mag light gets turned on and focused towards my hand about 12 inches away. This gives the optimum amount of light in the diminutive space about to be examined. This procedure done, I let the light shoot its beams to the floor and approach the target. Except this time. As the circle of light hit the floor, the family dog pounced on it. I moved the light a bit, and another pounce ensued. Being kind to the patient was next on my agenda and I put away the light. Visions of feet being pounced didn’t seem to visualize well on the report form.
Another item hospital nurses don’t have to deal with is taking a blood pressure while fido is being cuddled in the opposing arm. Being a happy fido, he was licking my arm. Distracting is putting it mildly. Beat, beat, lick, beat, lick, beat, beat, lick…. what was that value again?

 

In honor of last month’s operation

I bring you a couple of songs.

I think music from the anesthesiologist before the mask comes might be a bit more entertaining than the radio mounted in the wall. Of course I had ordered ET tubes previously (at another job) and asked about the same to be introduced to a new mini-mask (so to speak) that fit in the throat over the vocal chords. It was quite interesting and also let me know that my throat wouldn’t be as sore afterwards since this mask didn’t enter the trachea. I tried to find the one used, and this was the closest I discovered.
Yes, I’m one of those who asked the surgeon for my appendix to be informed it was going to be given to the pathologist. On another procedure, I asked for an epidural so I could be awake for the surgery and had the doc tell me what he was doing. He and the anesthesiologist must of colluded as I slept through the procedure. Oh well.

 

Happy Note for Today

I went in to the orthopedic surgeon and stitches were removed today.
Yea!
That makes walking a little less irritating.

For those of you who have never had the experience, consider having a broken fingernail sticking up and rubbing the pants fabric every step. I think that’s a close ball park.
I didn’t actually see the doc at the visit, but when the staff came in the room and asked if I was ready for them to be removed, I informed him that I was ready a week ago. Seriously. Spouseinbox would not make it easy and look the other way while I removed them. So I was stuck. Oh well. It’s over now. Now all that remains is the physical therapy to return mobility to the leg.

 

On to brighter news

I have had an improvement, as of this morning I made it through a night without pain medication. Yea. That’s not to say there was a good night’s sleep involved. However, the bridge has been crossed and improvement is on the horizon.
On a subject associated with the body part in question, I was asked multiple times about what the surgery would be and where it was. The surgeon even came in and initialed my leg with a sterile marker. A sterile marker, on an unsterile leg. I’m thinking a regular sharpie for a buck could have done the same job for a lot fewer dead presidents. Anyways, the nurse came back in and requested the surgery description again and I obliged her request with “right medial partial menesectomy.” This was met with “actual terminology,” and a surprised face. I always found using proper terminology with the medical folk, as a patient, causes an interesting reaction. I am reminded of a doctor who asked if my son had had any previous surgeries. I replied yes, an orchidoplexy. He paused for a moment, and I could almost see the wheels turn until he wrote something on the paper.