I saw this idea on a blog and forget where.  The item below stated something like: muslim shoots up a NRA convention.  With that in mind, I was thinking of other never-to-exist headlines.  Here we go:

Liberal Federal Judge begins to rule conservatively according to the Constitution and rule of Law – must be a closet conservative.

muslim cleric advocates freedom of religion and supports Baptist and Catholic churches in Saudi Arabia

NOAA states their correct prediction of weather this morning was a fluke and denies ability to predict decades into the future.

Modern Art teacher states that “modern art” is nothing more than a cover of the inability of artists to accurately portray real life and forces interpretation on the viewer lowering the expectations on the abilities of the artist.

Nanci Pelosi offers to pay back tax payers for all the excesses she has charged over her tenure.

The Department of Justice has admitted to being required to follow the rule of law and as such has filed charges against the Black Pathers, Pelosi, Obama, Clinton, Sharpton, etc.

The UN renounces all members who express antisemitism.

France rounds up, executes, or deports all muslims without the aide of Germany, England, or the United States.  (remember the term- ever)